NEW VIDEO: Peyton Manning’s Voicemail to Tom Brady

WHO WANTS TO TAKE OF MY HOT POLL?

People are finding it tough to get up, psyched, pumped, jacked, or even interested (you better effing watch!) today’s Pats game, what with the Colts 0-11, Pats cruise control-ing to the playoffs, or so it seems.  Hey, to me it’s football.  Gotta watch.  TFB is playing?  Gotta watch.  GRONK could score TDs and thunderspike the ball, maybe even set the record for most TDs by a TE in a season?  I’m in.  Maybe Edelman gets a sack and pick?  All over it.  So, do please tell me how you, the football freaks and Foxboro faithful of the world, see today playing out.




And don’t worry...just because the most obviously interesting factor of today’s game is missing (Where u at, Seyton?), it doesn’t mean that somewhere in the universe there isn’t a little bit of this going on.

Some Pats Stuff, Plus Some Other Things/Junk/Shit

First...let me do 2 things; thank everyone who has sent me the video of the little Eagles fan crying because of Tom Brady (a video that has yet to and probably never will get old).  It’s an early holiday present that keeps giving.  And 2.) Allow me to pay my part in this vicious cycle by re-posting it for the 11 of you who don’t have internet at home and haven’t seen it yet...



Suck it up, kid.  TFB’s been a heartbreaker for over a decade now, and he’s got plenty more hearts, of all shapes and sizes, to break before he hangs up his cleats and trudges towards bronze bust-dom in Canton.  Just the way it goes.  Though I do have to say I feel bad for that little fucker tonight knowing he has to watch Eagles @ Seahawks.  Can’t the NFL Network flex that game out to never and put the Belichick documentary on or something?

If you missed this morning’s Bax & O’Brien bullshiteriffic blatherfest here’s a LINK to the magic...

Now let’s play a game called “Won’t See / Might See”.  Here’s something you won’t see this weekend...



Nope!  Sorry Seyton, but not a single one of us feels badly that the Pats will have to feel Stan Islavsky or Dan Lebowski or whatever the fahk his name is this weekend for your putrid 0-11 Dolts.  Nope!  Hope you do recover so as to renewresume/refresh the rivalry of you vs. TFB one day...but a “Play Well, Pass Go, Collect $200 and go to 9-3” kinda game is fahkin’ fine by me this Sunday.

Now, here is something you MIGHT see...



Yup, it’s the Patscat! (submitted by Jason Wells) Considering the way Belichick has been pissing through people in the secondary this season it would in no way, shape or form surprise me if a housecat lined up next to Edelman as the nickel or dime back Sunday.  What / who wouldn’t surprise you in our rotating cast of clowns and characters in the secondary this season?

And speaking of cats...finally, here’s a tremendously terrible video to enjoy to wrap up this half-ass, hastily-assembled “last thing on my to do list before I hit up a happy hour” blog post.  Served up by our friends at the wildly underrated and always entertaining HOLY TACO it’s the 1st “Keyboard Cat” video that cracked me up in ages.



No doubt that kid is giving out HJ’s for open mic time in the midwest.  But hey, we all gotta start somewhere, right?

Alright, more soon.  We’ll make it fun leading up to and through Sunday.  At least we’ll try...and you GFY.

How Does Brady Compare To THIS Manning?

By now we’ve all heard and read about Eli Manning comparing himself to Tom Brady, saying that he’s actually in TFB’s class.  Which is unthinkably ridiculous, like Jed Lowrie saying he’s in Dustin Pedroia’s class cuz they both play the infield and compete hard.  Yeah, love me some Legend of Jed and all, but there’s only one Lazer Show, right?  Just like TFB vs Eli?  Both QBs, no comparison.  Anyway, the true comparison/contrast has always been between TFB and his great on-going gridiron rival, Seyton Manning.  And when asked how those two really compare, well, me and the folks at LOLPats figured this picture says it all...

Fitzy’s Picks: The Divisional Round Edition

MORE NONSENSE AND HALF-ASS PREDICTIONS ABOUT PLAYOFF FOOTBALL!!!

Fitzy’s Picks: Wild Card Weekend

Pats fans, take the bye week to chillax, have a beer, do all those chores you put off this fall, enjoy some worry-free football and maybe scout out a PFO (potential future opponent) of the Pats.  Also go 4-for-4 and win some big bucks with these sure-fire winnahs.

Manning Face

Go ahead and click below for the lyrics...

A Team You Can Root For

Brady & Belichick (as I’ve named them) have never looked better together.  How can America not root for THIS TEAM?

Also - Mike D (aka - Papaganda) over at PatsPropaganda.com reminds us that the last time the Pats beat the Colts I was in Indy and made what was probably the worst/best idea for a video ever.  Truth behind this little YouTube gem be told we were late arriving in town and weren’t sure what to shoot, what kind of video to make.  So we just winged it: make way to the stadium, talk some smack along the way, be a good sport and see what happens.  How nobody got punched in the junk that day is beyond me.  Oh wait, someone did; THE COLTS.



Ah memories...sure could use a refresh as to what it feels like to beat the Colts (nudge, nudge - wink, wink, Pats).

That Win Sunday Night Was Fahkin’ Awesome

We’re less than a day removed from the Pats laying the smacketh downeth on the Steelers @ The Ketchup Packet in Shitsburgh and I’m still pumped.  Wired.  Like “5 Red Bull & vodkas at a casino” wired over that win.  The Pats roared back and were..the Pats.  They told Pittsburgh what they were gonna do and Pittsburgh had no answer all night.  And Brady was...well...I think it’s no secret how much I heart TFB.  Sunday night he was at his absolute best.  Not sure if that wasn’t his sharpest, finest, most precise performance in a non-2007 game to date.  He just sliced Pittsburgh up like a carving station roast beef.  Chef Brady asking, “How would you like your next touchdown?  Medium Gronk?” And there was still game to play after he ran it in from 3 yards out, but that run was the finishing sentence, with the spike being the exclamation point.  FUCK and YEAH.

And don’t tell me watching Brady get fired up doesn’t get you fired up, make you wanna throw some shit around, chug a beer, all while possibly developing a sports boner.  It happens.  We’re cool with it.  It’s football.  it’s the Pats.  IT’S TOM FUCKING BRADY!



SHAMELESS MERCH PROMO ALERT!  Get fired up BRADY-style with this shirt, only $12, at townienews.com/merchandise, NOW!

Oh Seyton...Seyton Manning...yes, I do believe Tom Brady’s offensive Death Star will be fully armed and operational this Sunday.



Speaking of Seyton Manning, 2 things...A.) Be sure to order your SEYTON MANNING shirt for this Sunday’s huge AFC showdown.  TOWNIENEWS.COM/MERCHANDISE gets it done, people.  Order soon to have it shipped and in your arms by Saturday for Sunday Funday!



The best looking t-shirt featuring an asshole to date, IMHFO.

B.) We have a helluva video for this game coming down the pike.  Keep your eyes and your YouTube open.  It’s coming, and it’s gonna be, like our glorious QB, pretty badass.

More soon.  Drink up!  Go Pats!  GFY!

Celtics Fans, Like Omega Mu’s, Sure Can Party

Anyone who says “Get a life!” or “This guys needs to get laid.” can suck it and shut it.  From one camera ham to another, THAT’S how you celebrate good times.



And people say Boston fans are jaded and don’t know how to enjoy themselves anymore.  PLEASE.  Nobody’s done the Bon Jovi ‘yoke this well in decades.

Also...while the UK Pats fans were over here living it up and doing it right, we gotta give props to some of the god Pats fans who showed up at Wembley for the Broncos “at” 49ers “game” Sunday and represented.  Especially those who showed the Brits just what we really think of Peyton Manning.



If pictures are worth a thousand words then this one is FUCK YEAH! typed 500 times in a row.