Now’s the time to get the only shirt you’ll need for “The Big Game” on Sunday February 7th. That’s right - only one shirt says “I’m rooting for the Saints, but since they’re not my official team I can’t buy their shirt, but what I can rally around the idea of rooting against the Colts by wearing a relatively creative anti-Manning shirt!”
That’s right kids - get yours now before we sell out - the Seyton manning shirt - priced right at only $10, plus $3 shipping and man-handling. Just click HERE to go right to the order page and get the shirt you’ll get way more than one wear out of. It’s timeless! You can wear it whilst rooting against him/for the Saints during SB 44, plus whenever your favorite team plays him, or just whenthefuckever!
Is he one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game and makes throws that sometimes cause my jaw to leave a dent in the floor while I fill my adult diaper with awe? Hellzyeah! Do I root against him with every football fiber in my beer-soaked self now and well past forever? You know it, Papi! And I know Saints fans can’t REALLY root against him because he’s from the city and he loves it and does so much for it, plus his dad is from there and played for the Saints and does so much for N’Awlins and blah-blah-fahkin-blah! Even if it makes a one-time wear on Super Bowl Sunday against the Colts it’s $13 well spent.
Also - in case you missed it, the funniest sports video making the rounds now is also the most heartbreaking; the Vikings fan dad who goes from zero to apeshit when Favruh threw the 2nd dumbest INT of his life Sunday. This guy is so me 10 years from now, just 1,000 miles west.
Still can’t figure out what to say, or do about, or who to root for, regarding this Sunday’s Pats Fans’ Nightmare Bowl. I figure the same’s true for you. So let’s think about baseball for a minute - kinda like you do when you’re in a situation and you need to not pitch a downstairs tent. Baseball’s: the great distractionary and non-sexual pasttime!
Anyway, here’s Big Papi on Jimmy Fallon’s show last week. He’s pretty entertaining, and aside from taking a tip from Jim Rice and wearing sunglasses in studio, he’s looking pretty sharp. Looks like Usher styled him for the appearance. He’s kinda funny too. Anyway, better to watch this than every talking asshead on TV verbally JO-ing on the amazing Jets. Ugh...what a world, Dorothy.
The fallout from the Patriots debacle continues. Look what you did, Pats! You made Jack Bauer get in a dress on national TV. One of TV’s best tough guys, and pop-culture’s best bad boys, sporting a sundress because you couldn’t sport an effort, at home. Oh the shame, Patriots. Oh the shame.
BTW - I got, outright (spread withstanding) - Saints / Colts / Cowboys / Chargers - this weekend. Who you got?
Why not take pleasure in almost 7 minutes of other people’s pain, agony and mishaps? Because yeah, after the Baltimore Bedshitting this is what it’s come down to.
Thank you, and/or your hot wife, for revealing/allowing your affair(s) to come to light, drawing sports fans’ and the media’s attention to you and away from the facty that my team got waxed, clobbered and assblasted on national TV Monday night.
Semi-Sincerely yours,
Bill Belichick
HC, NEP
PS - If you’re done with these hotties and honeys, any chance you can pass their numbers to me? 2 free seats in Robert Kraft’s box for every gal you pass my way. You ever sat in Kraft’s box? It’s sick. They serve roast pterodactyl, carve steak with lasers, massages, martinis made with water from the pool in “Cocoon”, Nintendo Wii, ice cream sundaes with free handies. You ever eat a Friendly’s Happy Ending while receiving an ACTUAL Hapy Ending? It’s to die for. Call me.
Working on a new video, should be up soon. In the meantime here’s a little gem to tide you over on a Friday - it’s from the sports comedy show in the NYC I dig on, 12 Angry Mascots. Apparently Dice-K, once the Sox got knocked out of the playoffs, stopped by their show and tried his hand at a new profession. I think he might have a bright future outside of Gyroballing (and Gyro eating) for the Sox.
OK, instead of picking a single winner I’m just going to make life easier for myself, and any and all participants: whichever ones make me laugh, do a spit take or contort my ugly mug into a “Did I Just Read What I Thought I Read?” face will get at LEAST a GFY sticker mailed to them, possibly more (could be a Pop Tart, could be a t-shirt, you never know). Here’s your next photo waiting to be captioned:
Alright, you twisted freaks, have at it!
Contest ends midnight Thursday (so technically Friday at 12AM for all you rocket surgeons out there).
And if you win the contest AND you come to the show Friday night in Milford I guarantee your prize pack will be bigger and better than a sticker (no homo).
Come one, come all, see the best GFY comedy show this Fall! It’s your old pal Fitzy, and friends, doing some comedy and stone-cold ballbusting for a good cause, on Friday the 13th no less, to benefit the Franklin SEPAC. It, like your handjob after the prom, and most good affairs held by husbands and wives west of Boston, is being held at the Doubletree Hotel in Milford, MA. And the price -$30 - goes to a good cause, can probably be figured as some sort of deductible, and gets you some pre-show snacks. AND raffle entries for autographed swag and prizes. It’s so win-win-win-win it’s not even funny. Think of this as THE pregame comedy sports rally before Sunday night’s Pats @ Colts showdown.
We might even play some “Pocket Money” live, for some other prizes, or to finally get the chance to prove to everyone after watching countless episodes that you ARE the super trivia whiz kid of New England sports (it’s not tough to prove you’re smarter than me).
So again - get your tix - come to the show - win some prizes - feel good about yourself - get drunk - have some laughs - find a Yankees fan in the audience to make fun of - let’s go Pats!
Oh, and BTW - some of the other comics we have on the bill - John Porch, Brian Beaudoin - they’re PFF: Pretty Fahkin’ Funny. So BE THERE!
My weekly radio interview, the latest installment of WGFY, with The Bax and O’Brien Show from Rock 102 FM, which now stands for Fitzy Magnificence , can be found RIGHT HERE. Yeah, click on that sweet link. You know you wanna get some of that hot link. ESPECIALLY if you’d like some semi-racist half-ass jokes about this week’s upcoming Pats game in London.
You’re listening to WGFY - Go FAHK Yourself Radio. At the tone the time will be Eatabagofdicks.
We’re all officially temporary Phillies fans now, right?
Anyone gonna be in the NYC area, wanna meet up, have a beer, say hi, GFY, when The Sports Guy stops by Professor Thom’s to do a book signing? Drop a line - we’ll have a beer for every episode of “Pocket Money” Dan Shaughnessy TiVo’d (so yeah, we’re getting drunk.)
I got Pats 34, Tampa 17 Sunday. You?
A gem for the road; it’s the black and white silent film version of ”The Drunkest Guy Ever”, quite possibly one of my 10 favorite web videos ever. This is PFB: Pretty Fahkin’ Brilliant.
, can be found 
