As I make my way into the heart of darkness that is outside Radio City Music Hall today, where I anticipate a lot of football-busting tonight with Giants, Jets and so much other untamed fankind, I thought perhaps a quick look back on all the videos we’ve made over the years might be a good time. Or at least a chance to not think about the Bruins getting knocked out in the 1st round, or how shitty the Sox bullpen is. Plus it gives me a chance to re-watch and try not to repeat jokes! So enjoy, and GFY. Videos reposted in chronological order. And if the word “chronological” is too big for you then you’re my target audience, so thanks for stopping by.
The closest thing any of us football freaks will get to a gridirongasm anytime soon will be this Thursday night when the 1st round of the NFL Draft takes place at Radio City Music Hall. The fun continues Friday and Saturday when they draft, respectively, rounds 2 & 3, then everyone else. But those are really like aftershocks. The real juice comes Thursday, the closest thing to a football holiday we get outside the regular season, when every Sunday becomes a poorly behaved unruly office party. Anyway, problem is with this draft we’ve got us here this big old labor stalemate, the lockout, which could be responsible for depriving us of our sweet sweet drug this summer and fall and winter. And it’s heartbreaking, nauseating really. What, are we all gonna start reading or paying attention to our lives and wive and children and backyards? That is a reality I do not want to confront or ever know. I’d rather be doomed by a robot apocalypse and serve as a man-slave to our binary oppressors than live in a football-free world.
Usually I love the NFL Draft for what it is - a chance to talk shop, revel in the reseason hype and hooplah, making veritable football Sears catalog wish lists as to what players our team wants, needs and will get...
The excited, holiday-oriented child-like look of excitement all football fans anticipate the NFL Draft with...
Of course as a Patriots fan, with 6 of the first 100 picks, we may as well approach a list of the Top 100 prospects with a blindfold and just randomly put our finger on 4 names, because there’s no chance we have any idea who Belichick likes or will pick (tell me you saw Mayo or McCourty in recent years and I got 2 beers and a kick in the dick for you). And you know Belichick will trade some of the picks because he likes value and stockpiling picks like wartime supplies and leaving himself set up for next year and blah-wonk-lah-dee-dah… I just love the one day camaraderie and pre-draft fanalysis and excitement. For one day we’re all friends (except Jets fans...I hate the gaddam Jets), and we all think we’re gonna win the Super Bowl, like it’s gonna be a 32 team Royal Rumble, and one team remains standing. And that’s all fine and dandy but maybe, just maybe this year, this is all the non-ESPN labor dispute court TV coverage bullshit we’re gonna get for a while. Thus this is it, our own sweet sniff of the goods, the only hint of the high we so crave. So maybe we should all just push aside our differences and revel in the gridiron gladiatorial goodness. Except for Jets fans...if I haven’t made it clear they can all go take a flying leap right straight off Mount St. Gofahkyerself. Let’s just talk some ball, cheer our teams, bring the smack and argue why our team is that much better because we drafted This Guy from Southwest Neverheardofit State, and Mel Kiper thinks he has the tools and intangibles (intoolgiblets) to give our defense that extra edge, or stretch the field that much more...it’s a great day(s), and I can’t wait.
All this draft merriment and mayhem got me thinking about our draft videos and how much fun it is to line up and shit talk with the fans and freaks outside Radio City who’ve bypassed showers and responsibility and meals and sleep and a chair just for the right to a sober tailgate and a chance to sit inside and wait for hours for their team to draft someone, more than likely someone they’ve never heard of. Usually everyone’s a good sport and the football-busting is a good time (and of course we all love roasting Bills fans, because, well...yeah). So here is a brief reposting retrospective of the last four years of our Fitzy Goes To The Draft Videos. As is often the case I think the first one is still my favorite.
2007...
2008...
2009...
And 2010...
What will we do this year? How will we try and top ourselves? What kind of excitement and nonsense can we bring to the draft party this year? You’ll have to show up, hang tight and GFY to find out (hint: might very well be our last draft video so if we’re gonna do it I thin we’re gonna do it as your mom would prefer; with a bang...then a beer and a smoke).
I’m slowly emerging from my sports shell, leaving the coma created by the dickpunch Jets loss (the Celtics ginormous 4th quarter beatdown of the Lakers mostly getting pumped up for the Super Bowl, Pats-free as it may be and all. Come on, you know it’s gonna be a fahkin’ good game. AND you get to root for the Packers. So we got those things going for us. Anyway, it’s always fun to keep tabs on your favorite Pats, and apparently Gronk is becoming an instant media darling, and why shouldn’t he. HE’S FAHKIN’ GRONK, DOOD! So he pops up on that asstastic ESPN9 show “1st Take” or “Hey, We’re NOT SportsCenter!” or whatever they call it. And he’s doing an interview with one of his 17 brothers who are in the NFL. And I see he’s wearing a GRONK’D hat, and all Incan think is, “DOOD, WHERE CAN I EGT THAT HAT?” Somebody help a Fitzy pal out here.
