Just in time for the playoffs. Who said we didn’t have good timing? We’re putting this baby into production today and aiming to ship them in just in time for the start of the playoffs. We thought about making a Garnett shirt, and then we considered Rondo. But come on, you can’t deny or forget about The Truth, Mr. Paul Pierce.
We were about to write the Celtics off about a month ago, but they turned the season a few weeks ago with some clutch wins and dammit, they’re starting to look like the Celtics of old. Here’s to one big, great final playoff push. We’re all in, and that’s THE TRUTH.
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a reasonably big, well-covered, over-hyped football game being played in Denver tomorrow. Yes, THE TEBOWL is at hand. And there’s only been a weeee bit of coverage surrounding it. Many websites have done their enjoyable Tebowmania round-ups.
Saw this on Pats Propaganda; some intrepid artiste at Macleod Cartoons made this beauty, which might be the most honest piece f fan art / humor related to Tebowtime all week.
How I’ve gone as long as I have without seeing the genius of SAD TOM BRADY is beyond me (props to @eganmike for turning me on to it). This pic is perfect for this weekend’s affairs.
So much has been made of “Tebowing” that Pats fans have felt the need to craft a response...and it’s fahkin’ awesome; GRONKING. Where instead of genuflecting on a knee in prayer you pose as if you’re about to GRONK-SMASH a football spike. Toucher & Rich had people submit “Gronking” photos, and a lot of them are tremendous. My personal favorite it this (faux baby violence always kills):
Then my buddy (and “Pocket Money” editor) Scott Fisher submitted this; apparently his buddies took GRONKING next level, with someone prepped to GRONK right on top of a TEBOW. These are the kinda people I wanna buy beers for, be friends with (no homo) and am glad In can call fellow Patspeople.
For lest we forget: GRONKING > TEBOWING
Speaking on New England’s new favoritest sports icon...local cartoonist Chip O’Reilly (great name, right?) dropped this little “carnival Gronk portrait” on my virtual doorstep...
Then this dude named “Sheep Guy” (don’t ask) whipped this little dandy up. Which gets me thinking that taking acid while drinking beer and watching highlights of the Pats while at a computer with photoshop might not be such a bad thing...
So, apparently Boston.com wants to get in on the absurdist Boston sports fan/vlogger/idiot routine, something I know a little something about, with this; AN OBNOXIOUS BOSTON FAN.
At first I saw this and thought, “Those pan-seared pricks! They would have somebody come onto their site, mimicking/mocking the Boston sports fans and his woes and ways, thinking they’re producing something edgy and fresh, which in so many many many ways is a direct rip-off of my *shit/schtick, and not ask me to do it?!?” (*it’s one or the other, depending on how you look at it - and for what it’s worth do you like how I think to myself in run-on sentences?) I thought I was going to be offended, or at least feel a little bit dickpunched. But then I read the bloggage some more...watched the video (or as much of it and the spectacular “editing” I could get through) and then realized, “Well, it’s definitely a horrible ripoff of my routine and such...but who gives a flying fiddler’s fuckwhistle? If this is what they think is funny and will help them stand out in the growing market of sports-obsessed Massholery, both made-up and genuine, then go get ‘em fellas.” Because if you’ve been ding-donging around long enough like I have, and seen as much awesome (championships!) and awful (some football game that happened in Arizona in February of 2008!), then you realize that the good shit will rise to the top, or at least land in someone’s email or on someone’s Facebook and not with the subject header, “Holy dick, you have to watch this because it is so bad and so stupid, and I don’t mean in the Rebecca Black or Birdemic way!” I’ve been called plenty of things by plenty of people in my time, but one of them’s not derivative. So I got that going for me...which is nice. At least I know, as far as loving portraits of, rants by, and satires of Boston sports fans, and our ups/downs/successes/failures/stereotypes/rantings/ravings/idiocy go, I’m an original...-ish.
If I’m gonna suck I wanna suck and be this entertaining...we should all aspire to as much.
So, in true John Lackey voice...WHATEVER! It is what it is...and it is crap. But I’ve heard the same before too. So rock on with your bad self. Has this come around 3 years ao I’d have had a bit more of a “How dare you?!?” stance. Now I can’t be bothered. I got videos to make and fans of opposing teams to piss off. So, if you’ll excuse me, it’s back to my preparations for taking my original obnoxiousness down to Miami this weekend to make a shitpile of videos and root on my Patriots and hopefully get labeled “ a cliched stereotype of one of those obnoxious Boston sports fans” in the process. After all I/we have earned it.
I was at MSG Monday night for Celtics/Knicks and did what I thought you’d all want me to do, in absence of you getting to do it yourself. And for a while I thought I was gonna have to turn that finger back around on myself as the C’s just didn’t have it, or maybe the Knicks had more. Or whatever (eventually Jeff Green is gonna find a way to make shots from 4 feet out, of this I am certain). But by the 4th quarter the Cetlics figured out that by putting the basketball THROUGH the rim more often than the Knicks they could win the game. And they did! And the Knicks fans felt like buttered ass. And all the C’s fans in “the world’s most lamest arena” were rocking. A good time had by all. And this classy pregame twitpic was backed up. So thank you, Mssrs. Rondo, Garnett, Pierce, Allen & Davis. JWFD: Job Well Fahkin’ Done. After the game I knew why the Knicks fan in front of me kept responding to all my outward griping about the Celtics lackluster play with “Don’t worry, it’s the Knicks”. And he was right. They did kinda suck it in the 4th, and the C’s didn’t. Funny how that works. So there’s that.
And Just In Here at Things ‘n Stuff & Junk ‘n Shit Central...
The guys over at 12 Angry Mascots, who I’ve done some stage & video “work” with before, made this video with Skanks CF Curtis Granderson, and it’s funny. I would momentarily respect this man if he walked to the plate with “Friday” playing (and yes, it is the worst song ever - everyone involved with that aural disaster should be hunted down and eliminated “Munich” style...and if you don’t know what “Friday” is then I’d ask what rock you’ve been living under, if I wsn’t so envious of you never having heard it before).
Happy as a humpstack to be back on Bax & O’Brien Show every Thursday, 8:05am, on Rock 102. If you missed last week’s chat then here it is in all of its MP3 glory. Should have some more regular radio visits and bits to share in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for those delightful wastes of our time.
Got a few new videos coming out within the next 10 days...
I’m helpless against this digital monstrosity. It’s dumber than TFB’s ponytail and yet I can’t press the X button to close the window on my browser. If you are able to stop watching, listening, dancing, obsessing over it then you’re a stronger man/woman/child than I. This is garlic-parmesan fries @ Boston Beer Works crack-level addictive.
Alright ya’ humps, more soon. Look for new videos, radio ridiculousness and such, on the horizon. Till then be good, drink up, and GFY.
Oh, the plight of the Heat gets funnier with every loss. At home. Where they blow a lead. And gag in the final seconds. Then cry after the game. And then people make pics like this. Care for a cup of dickpunch, Mssrs. James or Wade?
OK, so, I know I’m supposed to be in my self-imposed “bleak sports midwinter” / “taint of the sports year” hibernation and such, but I’m getting antsy, kinda crabby even. I’m ready to fire up the engines of fanaticism, inappropriateness and inebriation now, really. I’m really getting into the Celtics season now (not that I haven’t been all year), but after the Perk trade and all that ensuing drama, and them rattling off 5 straight, I’m kinda fired up. Plsu it’s sooooo effing fun to watch and root against the Heat, usually now to see them gag n it during the final :10. Probably the best comedy on TV now. Mark my words: the Bulls will be the Celtics biggest threat, the biggest hurdle in their attempt to get back to the Finals for a 3rd time as The Big 4. Where they’ll face the Lakers. D’uh, come on now. If you can make a compelling case for how Dallas or San Antonio can knock them off I’m all ears and beers at
In other recent semi-interesting, space-filling Things ‘n Stuff ‘n Junkery...
I’m sure by now you’ve heard about or seen the COMPLETE NON-STORY that is TFB’s ponytail at Carnivale in Rio. Does anything speak more volumes as to how effing bored we are with sports right now, or how badly we need baseball season, March Madness and the hockey & basketball playoffs to begin that we’re TALKING ABOUT A PRO FOOTBALL QUARTERBACK’S HAIR IN EARLY MARCH? Really? OK, well, since I’m as bored as you are, and nothing if not a bringer to the people of what they want (and semi-professional idiot) then here’s video of The Brades trying to dace in Rio, looking like your friend who’s the DD at the bar on Friday and kinda wants to leave but is still awkwardly courtesy dancing for the time until you either get a girl’s #, or puke, or both:
And here’s the LOLPats take on it, which I think I heard was what 97% of all Pats fans said the first time they saw TFB’s greasy European soccer star ‘do...
SWCO (Shit Worth Checking Out): The LOlPats peeps have started up a sister site for Sox laffs, LOLSox. I was psyched to see it come up. Appears as if they’re going to be up to snuff ‘n par with the LOLPat action, too.
Please be April 1st now already OK yes please?
Speaking of Sox season and the anticipation and excitement and such, if anyone wants to go to Opening Day, April 8th against the Skanks, my pal and merch master flex, Coach Kev at Supahfans, has a ticket he’s going to give away, and a danm good seat at that, for the game. To win you have to stop by his store with the most SUpahfans merch on or own the most shirts, be the biggest Supahfan...I dunno. But honestly he does have a ticket to give away, and his store on COmm Ave is having a huge-ass sale this weekend. Check it out, get the newsletter, here’s the deets on their Spring Cleaning sale, with info on the giveaway to follow.
And don’t forget our KEEP CALM AND BRADY ON shirts are on sale for only $12 in the Townie News merch store now, fools!
For a quick cheap baseball laugh (read: “Baseball is coming and my fantasy draft is next week so I need to fill the hole in my sports soul with more baseball and possibly some humor") then give this read, forwarded along to me by GFY pal and part-time Townie News contributor On The Brinke, the 10 Best Spring Training Pranks In Baseball History.
And finally, this is awesome. It’s Conan at his absurdist best. And it’s Angry Birds, which you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like/play/obsess dangerously over. AND it stops the Kardashian pain, even just for a moment. This is lo-fi TV comedy WIN at its finest.
Talk to you on Bax & O’Brien come St. Patty’s, 3 sheets to the FM wind, 8:05 in the AM. With a whole lot to follow. Drink up, stay healthy, s’go Boston! And of course...Keep Calm And Brady On...and GFY.
Beloved badass and low-post tough guy Kendrick Perkins...
and Gang Green spark plug Nate Robinson...
...were traded to Oklahoma City...
...for Jeff Green (aka - the guy we drafted and traded to Seattle in 2007 for Ray Allen)...
...and Nenad Krstic (whose misspelled name has been trending on Twitter).
Heh-loh, lay-dies. Would it be that you would like to make with the dance on this night?
The C’s also got the Clippers 2012 1st round draft pick (lottery protected, so expect the C’s to get the Clippers’ 2013 1st pick).
Meanwhile, for reasons unknown in parts known as my brain, the Celtics also traded Marquis Daniels (have a safe, comfy, hopefully bump-free flight!)...
...to Sacramento...
...for a pile of cash. Not a player, just cash.
And what’s kinda funny is the Celtics kinda need some players now, or must have some other guys coming in, because they also surprisingly dealt Semhi Erden...
No, I ham not relateds to the Kristic.
...and Luke Harangody...
...for a 2nd round draft pick in 2013 or something.
Which is a shitload of trades, moves and activity for a team that’s 41-14 and in 1st place in the Eastern Conference. Hot frosted basketballs, that’s some serious late-season overhaulin’, Danny Ainge. We’ll miss the energy of Nate, and the toughness of Perk (OKC and Kevin Durant just got a new bodyguard), but a Celtics fan has to believe that Ainge had this season and beyond in mind, right? RIGHT? Someone tell me it’s gonna be alright, dammit!!!
I made my last appearance on The Bax & O’Brien Show for a month on Thurs Feb 10th, as I prep for my annual sports hibernation/pre=spring training powernap (if you wanna listen to any previous Bax & O’Brien audio disasterpieces of mine then CLICK HERE). A long season of Pats madness, especially one that ends in dickpuncheriffic fashion like this past one, does take its toll on a hump like myself. So as to rest, refresh, recharge and a bunch of other R words that mean mostly good things, I take to my annual retreat. Not that I’ve been making videos at a breakneck pace or posting 5 times daily or nothing. But in order to bring you, the fans, freaks and fuckheads, the highest-quality low-brow sports commentary and such this coming year then it’s best to go back to the lab for a bit. We know the C’s and Beez are gonna make the playoffs, and with that comes a lot of viewing, chirping, drinking, bitching, worrying and tweeting, plus there’s the NFL Draft (and I need to think of something ut of this world for April 2011 because the Jets fans are gonna come after me worse than ever this year). AND, much like I imagine is the case for you I’m so friggin’ excited for the upcoming Sox season it’s ridiculous. Just foolishly excited, and I don’t want to get my Sox off before it’s time. Got a TON of new videos lined up for the season, so best to remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint, people.
A picture of Fitzy, taken right after the Pats devastating playoff loss to the gaddam Jets.
This isn’t to say there’l be a total shutdown. No, the reactor core would melt and there would be foolishness and toxic inappropriateness spilling all over. I’ll be sure to regularly drop nonsense on the Twitter (@fitzygfy) and Facebook (facebook.com/fitzygfy - be sure to LIKE me...which sounds so dumb). There might well be a 3rd season of POCKET MONEY coming down the pipe, thus allowing me to continue my repayment and restitution to all you goons who have tuned in and supported over the past coupla years. And if it comes to be stay tuned for dates, times locations and such so we can give away as much of Uncle NESN’s money as possible. I’m back on Bax & O’Brien come St. Patrick’s Day. Hoping to organize a few shows in the area this spring and summer. New merch. Holy nutfarts, it’s gonna be a HUGE year. So drink up, KEEP CALM AND BRADY ON, Pats fans, stay tuned, party on and talk soon. And hopefully we’ll all be rocking it like a trick show UConn QB in no time.
.jpg)
_.jpg)
.jpg)
