My weekly radio interview, the latest installment of WGFY, with The Bax and O’Brien Show from Rock 102 FM, which now stands for Fitzy Magnificence , can be found RIGHT HERE. Yeah, click on that sweet link. You know you wanna get some of that hot link. ESPECIALLY if you’d like some semi-racist half-ass jokes about this week’s upcoming Pats game in London.
You’re listening to WGFY - Go FAHK Yourself Radio. At the tone the time will be Eatabagofdicks.
We’re all officially temporary Phillies fans now, right?
Anyone gonna be in the NYC area, wanna meet up, have a beer, say hi, GFY, when The Sports Guy stops by Professor Thom’s to do a book signing? Drop a line - we’ll have a beer for every episode of “Pocket Money” Dan Shaughnessy TiVo’d (so yeah, we’re getting drunk.)
I got Pats 34, Tampa 17 Sunday. You?
A gem for the road; it’s the black and white silent film version of ”The Drunkest Guy Ever”, quite possibly one of my 10 favorite web videos ever. This is PFB: Pretty Fahkin’ Brilliant.
No, I can’t believe I’m a Celtic either/neither! And for the last time, Fitzy, I don’t know what’s wqrong with the Red Sox bullpen either/neither! Now where’s Boston’s good steak, bubbly and titty at?
Alotta shit, I mean A LOT OF SHIT has gone on this week, and I’ve been such an irresponsible blogger/vlogger/writer/contributor to the Earth mess of late that I’m even too lazy to properly itemize it all. As if that matters. So here’s the yer old pal Fitzy’s superlazy kinda “cleaning out the desk if I actually had a desk” kinda bloggage. Sorta like vomiting a bunch of thoughts onto the screen and sharing them - hey, why not mix ‘n match, pick your favorite items and enjoy. And THEN Go Fahk Yourself!
In terms of dropping LossWash videos on this site (one of 19 things people can feel free to criticize me for not doing enough of lately), here’s one that’s so stupid and yet thoroughly entertaining it makes up for a least a few (more on the Sox losses that supposedly prompt said LossWash viudeos in a second) - it’s from the fantabulous blog, everythingisterrible.com
Speaking of Everything Is Terrible, what the fahk is the problem with the Sox bullpen of late? They’re not gonna be super automatic every time out, and people have to give up runs every now and again, but it seems like it’s become a case of either one guy give up runs so 1-2 other bullshitpenners will follow suit, or everybody locks their shit down. Right? That’s great that everyone in the Sox ‘pen has a Backdraft kinda :"one goes we all go” mentality, but I was WAY more into the “let’s all not give up any runs tonight” thing than I am into this “Well Masterson ate some nut so I guess Saito better touch the junk and then maybe Ram-Ram will nibble a little D too.” Uh-uh, no fahkin’ thanks! We don’t need any more stumblin’ and bumblin’ heading into the All Star Break, what with the Skanks surging and Tampax Bay figuring their shit out too.
Masterson’s bald head reminds me of what he’s been pitching like of late; a huge dick!
One man buys one of these, EVERY dudefriend comes over and never leaves. The one person that does? His wife. Well, you can’t win a war without some casualties and/or collateral damage.
Hey, this has nothing to do with nothing (at least here usually), but just a moment to send some Cheers and Beers abroad to our president, who, aside from his occasional outside the Oval office smokes, proves he is all-too human. Hey, what happens in France...
Yes, things are tres jolie en Francais!
TIM WAKEFIELD IS A MUTHAFAHKIN’ ALL STAH!!!
Goddamn right I’m a muthafahkin’ All Stah!!!
I read on my fantasy sports homepage the question, “Do you think Tom Brady’s return makes him a fantasy top pick again?”, the answer to which comes at the end of this clip, one of my favorite movie lines ever.
Is Tom Brady still a fantasy top pick? Same answer as in Winston Zedmore’s statement, bitches!
Let’s go Sox!
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Have a good weekend, peoples. New videos before the ll Star break. Now TGFYIF!
I’m resting and recovering, could use a Sox win streak through Memorial Day weekend to cheer me up, maybe a surprise Big Papi ding-dong to warm mend the broken Boston sportshearts (dude, you couldn’t pay me to step inside the Gahden right now - talk about a house of horrors!)
Rest up, drink up, go Sox. More soon, including some cool news and a new wave of videos (they’ll be different but I think I fgured out a way to get regular videos back into action, so I got that going for me into summer...which is nice).
Told myself I might feel better when I woke up today. Nope! Still feel like dick warmed over.
Oh where to begin...
I’m kinda with El Presidente on the B’s. Not the world’s biggest hockey fan but was definitely getting into the Bruins and rooting hard, watching the games, chanting “Loooooch!” and all that shit. And yeah, it woulda been nice to have the B’s keep going and see them bring some cuppage back to the Gahden. But it wasn’t meant to be. The bearded villain that is Scott Walker got his last lick, the ‘Canes kinda outhustled the B’s in the series (that damn intangible of playoff experience and veteran leadership) so fahk him and fahk them ‘cuz I still think the Bruins are a much better team. But it’s done. The B’s had a Fudgy the Whale of a season, and now more people have woken up from their hockey comas and gotten back into the team, which is right on. Little solace today to the die-hards, I know. But they’re set for the long run. Damn.
Then we got the Celts, who obviously felt so bad about stealing Game 5 from the Magic they must have wanted to let them have their own Game 5, but on their home court. Jesus, Shuttlesworth! Who does a guy have to blow to get you to hit one 3-pointer on a Thursday night outside Disney? While watching Bruins fight for their frozen lives that didn’t help or make anyone feel any better. They could have had that game, wrapped it up and preserved a whisker of energy for the mighty Cavs. Now ANOTHER effing Celtics series goes 7. I know they are a lionhearted Game 7 team, and it’s at home, and of course I’m psyched for it, but I hate leaving money on the table or wins in Whorlando. And to think the Magic dropped fahkin’ streamers from the ceiling when they won? “Congrats! We get to go back to Boston for a Game 7 and probably lose! Our coach looks like a fat magician and/or car dealer from North Jersey!” Fahk them in the Turkaloo. Let’s go C’s!
And then there’s Papi...oh woe is Papi. An extra innings Sox loss always sucks it dry. When there are more than dozen men left on base? That really adds an extra punch to the junk. But when it’s your DH, your hero, the Dominican Destroyer, the most clutch hitter we’ve had in years who lead us to 2 World Series, who leaves 12 men on base himself, going 0 for 7? Oh fahk me in the gashole! It’s just sad. SAD! People are going to talk about it, write about it, call WEEI about it, stew about it and be upset about it and they should be. I think...he could...he might be...I don’t wanna say it. but you know what I’m thinking, and I know you’re thinking the same thing. this video kinda says it all (from Boston Dirt Dogs)
But today is about bidding the Bruins farewell, and rallying up for the Celtics. We got plenty of Sox left (and time to ponder the endless tragic mystery of the disappearance of Big Papi’s power).
Here’s an extra video to try and take the pain away...an uber triple LossWash, if you will...
I only wish Big Baby shoved the kid down, dropped his shorts and steamed out a nice DQ large chocolate swirly in the kid’s mouth.
Dude, seriously, shut the fat dad up! What’s your fat kid doing less than a foot from the court anyway? Honestly, if Big Baby missed that shot, or had it been a Whorelando Magic player running through the sidelines do you think the parents of Scooter McMagic there would have filed an official complaint with the NBA? Rashard Lewis or Courtney Lee could have nailed the winning J, ran into the crowd and attacked all the fat tweeners and dads like the Spartan army of “300” and nobody would have complained. Big Baby nails the biggest shot of his life, runs a foot onto the sideline back to celebrate his achievement with his team, which kinda is his fahkin’ right to do since he’s the pro basketball player and your dad is an asshole ambulance chaser, and you guys call him a “raging animal”? WORST CASE OF SORE SPORTSMANSHIP EVER. I hope Big Baby sues back and calls the dad “a raging asshole with no regard for the boundaries between the athletes and the rich dickheads and their stupid kids on courtside.” Oh Magic, this has invited so much bad karma into your house it’s not even funny.
Also - LET’S GO BRUINS!!! Shit in the mouths of these cheap-shot Hurrilames. Nail ‘em Big Baby style.
If anyone needs some extra incentive here’s a delightful NSFW link of a certain pop tart who was abused earlier this year and wanted to make up for it by showing us that her clothes were getting in the way of the road to recovery.
...and everyone else who thinks the B’s, C’s and Sox aren’t that good and can’t do what needs be done (you know who you are, Norman Chad, you prick), why don’t you all suck on these.
The Lama says, “Goonga la Goonga...Bruins better get their shit together and starting kicking ice again OR ELSE!”
No way any of us saw the one team of the Boston Big 3 playing Wednesday that would kick their opponent’s ass being the Celtics. Not with the B’s playing with a “loss at home” chip on their shoulder, and the Sox facing Hot Carl Pavano @ home after taking two from the Skanks. And yet the B’s look shiity on offense and it felt like they were on D all night, getting swarmed constantly in their own end. And the Sox just stone-cold sucked. Mikey Lowell said the Sox had a lack of energy on the field (and if you watched the game and saw them let Pavano off the hook several times you’d say, “No shit, Mikey!") Whereas the C’s just rocked it from the opening tip and were in control against the Magic all night, giving the team the confidence they need and reminding all of us that it’s gonna be a series and they ain’t going out like that. Yeah it was must-win, and yeah Pearce hasn’t woken up yet, but it was PFS. (BTW - go toredsarmy.com and get the Rondowned graphic on the homepage - KICK...ASS).
Looks like my fingernails, beer supply and swear jar better watch out this weekend - Fitzy’s coming, and hell and alotta playoffs are coming with me!
I hadn’t posted in a while after the draft vid so I all things considered I owe a bunch of LossWash videos across multiple sports. Here’s a few to pass the day and take your mind off of the Schlox and Beaten Black ‘n Blue Crew...and BTW, get well soon, RemDawg. We’ll be saying good things for you, pal.
If I had to pick one team I love to root for tonight to win, and one to lose, then fate read my mind and so it was (I hate playing the sports version of “Sophie’s Choice"). Still - an error? C’mon Lopez, you’re already on and have been on very shaky ground with me for a long time. So you’re not doing yourself, the team, or any drunk hump like myself any favors by playing 9th Inning Whoopsies. You’re Just Lucky The Truth was known tonight.
5 games, 3 OTs? Stop it. STOP IT. I don’t really even care if then Celtics make it to the Conference Finals now. Whatever! I just want them to win this series and send Captain Crotchgrab, Larry Longhair, Pencilthin ROY and the rest f the Baby Bullshits home crying to their mommies. Holy tittytwisters am I gonna be rooting my Garden-grown D off during Game 6.
Still, the Sox did lose. SO, we have to post another LossWash. Here’s LW #7 on the season (been a while, had kinda gotten comfy with the idea of not having to post these). And remember - “Life is not about being liked; it’s about being effective.”
Hey Chicago (especially that long-haired Ice Age’d nitwit, Joakim Noah, who tried shushing the Garden in Game 2) - remember, you’re playing the World Effing Champions. And until someone knocks them off that’s who they are and the way it is. There are a lot of good young players on the Bulls - but Ben Gordon and Derek Rose can’t score 40 a night every night - and you can’t stop a 2-man down C’s every night. No sir.
Seems early for some Yanks/Sox action, right? Nah! I agree with THIS GUY - it’s never too early for heated rivalry all-kinds-of-awesome baseball against your most hated foe. I’m sure the rest of the country is thinking, “Sox/Yanks, already? COME ON!” Well yeah, it’s on, again. And it’s still the best rivalry in sports. And if you want nonstop coverage of Padres/Rockies instead then be my guest.
Until another rivalry can overtake then just crack a beer and deal with it, peoples.
And oh baby it is SOOOO NFL Draft time tomorrow. Pats have 4 picks in first 58. Belichick is getting his war room mad scientist on. And I’ll be outside, talking to all the crazies, celebrating the first sign of the season of 2009, loving everything football and its insane, dedicated fans. I’ll be shooting my annual Draft video from about 1-4pm outside Radio City Music Hall, so if any of you nuts are out there then say hi, GFY, all that shit. And just think - at 4pm you’ll have Sox/Skanks on FOX, the NFL Draft on ESPN, and a really difficult time explaining to your friends the late afternoon non-porn related stiffy you’re sporting.
With KG out that which seemed impossible just got impossibler. What a kick in the basketballs.
Hopefully this will cheer you up. Best/worst swears overdubbed in movie broadcast on TV ever (thanks to Best Week Ever’s site and my pal Wilson for this gem).
, can be found RIGHT HERE. Yeah, click on that sweet link. You know you wanna get some of that hot link. ESPECIALLY if you’d like some semi-racist half-ass jokes about this week’s upcoming Pats game in London.
