The 2008 Patriots: Something Awesome, Something Awful

Ain't nobody smiling now that The ManBeast is out for the season.  SONOFABITCH!

OK everyone, say it with me...1, 2, 3...WHAT THE FAHK?!

Seriously, can the Pats win a game this season without losing a starter?  They win, that's awesome!  And also they lose a starter, that's awful.

First it was TFB.  Then it was Arthur Murray Maroney.  Then Human Growth Harrison.  And now word's out that Adalius the ManBeast is done for the year.

How many times this season can the Pats and their fans get kicked in the dick like this?

So if you do the math, which is a lot for me to ask any of you bums to do on a Hangover Monday, that means 66.7% of the Pats wins this year have come with a season-ending injury to a starter.  It's getting ree-fahkin-dickulous, and I'm officially pissed.  Like "someone stole my beer/my taxes got screwed up and now I owe the government money" kinda pissed.  And who can you take it out on, besides (hopefully) the Jets this Thursday?  Cripes, I mean I thought the football gods got their revenge with the badger bite to the ballsack that was the Super Bowl 42 loss.  But this sucks!  Fahk them and fahk this!  Someone make it stop!

We shall continue to punish you New England players and fans for your crimes of SpyGatery until such time as we see fit.  So there, suck on that shit, Pats people!

The win against the Bills was great.  A well-played, solid 20-10 win that saw BenVereen Green-Whistle or whatever his name is do exactly what Laurence Maroeny never did, which was run straight ahead, with speed and power, and get the tough-yardage-job done.  I don't know if this kid is the long-term answer, but I like him.  He's got some skills, and heaven forbid Morris and Jordan get healthy because the Pats would have a sweetass, bruising 4-headed running attack.  Also his mom's name is Latonia.  Which will I will definitely name my daughter one day. Brady Latonia Papelbon Fitzgerald.  It's got a ring to it.

So now the Pats, 6-3 with a QB that's slowly but surely gaining poise and confidence, and a defense that seemed to be finally jelling, have to go after it without the ManBeast, who was having a great season and could play all over, any time.  Thomas was in on 99% of the snaps this season.  99%!  You can't just make up for that with role players and schemes.  It's gonna suck for a while.  This is definitely a skinned knee with dirt and shit in it that's gonna sting like all balls for a while.  We could see more 4-3 defense than 3-4 the rest of the way, but I don't want to get all footbally on you now.  I'm too tired and pissed for that.

Look, 6-3 and any shot to go for the playoffs and get after it like the Pats have is a bonus in the wake of the "lost TFB season."  Four starters down and they're still tied for the division lead.  They fill things in (insert mom joke here), they do whatever is asked of them, wherever, whenever.  And they make plays, manage the game and play like it counts.  I love 'em, and it seems the more they suffer setbacks the more they and the fans rally. 

Well, as much as we'll miss the ManBeast, I'm looking forward to the way a coupla second-string guys step up, step in and make up for his loss.  And starting this Thursday against the goddamn Jets we'll get to see just how badly the Pats want it.  'Cuz you know Assgini and the Jets want it, and they're thinking, like they did in Week 2, that the Pats are man down again and prime for the kill, the division theirs for the taking.  Go ahead, Gang Greendick.  Go ahead.  The Pats dare you.

I hate these injuries, but I really fahkin' hate the Jets.

Here's one assface who's not sorry AD won't be coming after him this week.  But don't worry - someone else will gladly take his place and try and drop you to the ground, Mr. Brett the Jet.  Holy titbags do I hate the Jets!