Couldn’t ask for a better blessing than Shaughnessy cutting some bowl rope on top of “Pocket Money”. It’s the kiss for good luck any New England Sports Nitwit like myself would want. It’s almost become an annual tradition; we make the show, CHB sees the promo 976,000 times, steams out on it in one of his little “Kibbles ‘n Bits” columns, therefore giving it the “If Shaughnessy Hates It Then It Can’t Be That Bad” Seal of Approval. WIN! Thanks, Dan..and GFY!
Also of interest...
People are giving TFB a hard time because his hair this season is a little Justin Beiberiffic. Well, at least HE DIDN’T GO SEE THE BEIBS IN CONCERT! Unlike a rival AFC East QB... I don’t care if the Jets win 700-3 against the Pats, at least Brades didn’t see The Beibs.
That Boob Apron video that debuted here on Townie News last week went banonkers (bananas + bonkers), and has gotten over 1.1 million views on the YuTube. Nice work, peoples.
And be on the lookout for the most kickass t-shirt we’ve produced to date, maybe the most kickass TFB and Patriots shirt ever, dropping here on Townie News for a special introductory price of only $12, sometime in the next day or two. Hmm...why would it be a special price of $12? I wonder what could have inspired that...
Dear Viewers, Fans, Friends, Enemies, Assclowns and Other Sportsfans,
These days it’s all about transparency in America, right? After Season 1 of “Pocket Money” you watched and then you made your peace. You spoke your words. You shared your opinions. And that’s why NESN brought me, the only guy who can look like more of a boob than the contestants who whiff on the first question, back, and with more money (but don’t worry, the Nitwit Factor is set to 11 this season.) And we’re back JUST in time for the Red Sox to pretty much be out of it. HOORAY!
So make sure to tune in this Friday, September 3rd for the Season 2 premiere of “Pocket Money” on NESN. We’re on Fridays @ 5pm, part of the NESN “Made in New England” block of programming (sandwiched between “Shining City” and “After The Game”, John Henry’s wife’s “Cribs” of New England sportspeoples), and then again after the Sox game and NESN Daily...somewhere around midnight. What’s the deal with air times in Rocktober? You got me. In the meanwhile, here’s a show open from Season 1 that I think worked out pretty well, one that we got naturally with no “TV tinkering”, believe it or not.
And I know some of you freaks out there who check in on the Townie from time to time are not necessarily Boston/New England sports fans, but can rally behind our cause of being ballbusters and dicks to our mutual sorts enemies. And occasionally you like to pick up a little non-league sanctioned merch to express yourself. One spot I’d like to recommend is PhillyPhaithful.com. You don’t have to be from Philthy to appreciate the merch and sportswear they make (they made that awesome Plaxico shirt I blogged about a while back). Here’s a new fave of mine, which I definitely believe I’ll be sportin’ on Celtics off-nights in the coming 2010-11 season.
Following the nice lil’ shitstorm we whipped up with our Hard Cocks: Episode 1 review, here’s a well-overdue double-episode reviewtacular. Enjoy. Let’s go Pats. And GFY.
And remember folks, this is all, much like the idea of the Jets going to the Super Bowl, a joke.
Boston sports fans and drunks of the world unite, for it is THE GFY KOOZIE (in glorious Pats colors and font, no less). Available now in the Townie News merch section. $2 a pop, plus $1 S/H. Here’s the bonus - for every 5 you buy you get 1 free. So buy 5 (pay $15), we’ll send 6. Buy 10, we’ll send 12. Plus a GFY sticker. You’re a smart drunk. You get it.
GFY to go. How could it get any better than this (aside from standing outside SB 45, waiting to go in and watch the Pats shoot for ring #4, GFY koozie in hand)?
Each week I’ll be twittering my way through the latest episode of “Hard Knocks with the New York Jets” (@fitzygfy), then providing a detailed, “totally unbiased” review of the episode. Because really, who better to provide commentary and fair-minded insight on the bold, brash and blustery Jets than a mouthy half-drunk New England patriots supahfan, right?
This site earns GFY certification. Solid football parody of this site and this other site (for those not in the know, or who haven’t been on the internet in 5 years.) IMFO it’s high-quality lowbrow fare for the huddled Massholes. Like what I did there?
Also, nice win, HUGE fahkin’ win, for the Sox on Monday, salvaging the split with the Skanks. Whiffing Grandyman, Swisher Sweets & Gayxiera in the 9th was a cause for serious Papelbonerage.
Now, what do I think about the Celtics adding Shaquille O’Neal? It’s a NFB: No Fahkin’ Brainah, especially considering that Perk’s out until us men get wallet raped by the Hallmark corporation and Rose Growers of South America (bka - Valentine’s Day.) The Celtics need a big guy off the bench, who can clear the post, bang bodies, gab some boards, throw a few down (hoops, not beers), and provide the in-the-paint presence we needed so badly in Game 7. 6 minutes away from banner #18, you don’t think Shaq’s presence wuldn’t have guaranteed duckboats and a “wolling wally”? Fahk and yeah it would have. This signifies that the Celtics are more than happy to be the oldest, stingiest, biggest, gnarliest and pain-in-your-assest team in the East. It’s not like adding Squash and King Lames. But it is a 7 fot 1 375 pound F U to the Eastern Conference and to everyone else who said the C’s were washed up after losing the FInals. Shaq’s gonna bring even more excitement. He’ll look funny standing next to Rondo. He’ll put asses in seats. He’ll love how into it Boston fans get. He’ll love playing and beating the Heat. He may be older than the actual Aristotle but Big Aristotle is a hellified signing. PLUS, now he can team up with Jermaine to form The O’Neal Boys, the hardest workingest Irish front court in all professional basketball.
I REALLY hope Shaq wears 18, just to signify what he’s helping the C’s go for (art courtesy Chris DeRoy.)
Hey, Jacoby Ellsbury’s finally back! Be gentle, ladies. And take it easy, guys. We’re not that far back on the Skanks and we’re gonna need his fragile ass and boy band looks, because...(I’m calling it; Rays are winning the East, we’re getting Wild Card - BOOM! It has been saided. Even Bill Simmons’s (@sportsguy33) bestie, JackO, (@jacko2323) said he thinks the Skanks will be in 3rd by mid-August.
TIMEKILLER EXTRORDINAIRE, ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE WHO GREW UP IN THE LATE 80’S/EARLY 90’S, HAD A SUPER NINTENDO AND WERE/ARE LOSERS LIKE ME - The Street Fighter 2 soundboard. Now feel like you’re going to BRA-ZIL! whenever you want. it’s so friggin’ cool. You’re welcome.
Just curious...according to Forbes, which city has 3 of the Top 10 fanbases in the MFUSA? Sure it’s a magazine I don’t read and all (like I read!), but still, 30% of the Top 10 fanbases (Spoiler Alert - keep at it, Bruins fans! Let’s go for 4 outta ten next season.) Yankees fans didn’t even crack the Top 10. That’s because Yankees Fans Suck.
Don’t forget to tune in for a retahded sorts chat with Bax & O’Brien, Thursday Aug 5th at 8 in the AM on Rock 102 FM (rock102.com for you “radio on the web").
GFY, welcome Shaq, and let’s go Sox!
And for reading this far here’s your “let’s end on a video of a dumbass getting hit by an ice cream truck” reward...
...as well as that picture of Chewbacca riding a giant squirrel into battle against Nazis that none of you asked me about. So enjoy.
Enjoy your “Larry Legend” year, buddy. May it bring you, and all New England Patriots kind, the ring, trophy and celebration worthy of such a glorious year.
At the end of the day nobody does it better (I won’t apologize, I get sappy about this shit.)
Dear Rest of NFL, Get ready to see a shitload of this again this season, and beyond. And at full fahkin’ force. That is all.
You already know this by now, and if you don’t then you’re either on vacation, in a cave, or an asshole. But White Wes is BACK. And sure, he could technically still go back on the PUP for the start of the season and be out for the 1st 6 games, but the odds of that happening are the same as LeBron hosting a “Hey Cleveland, My Bad” fundraiser at Dan Gilbert’s house this fall. He’s worked his dick off to get to where he is and if he’s come this far, this fast, then you know for sure that he won’t stop until he’s ready, and on the field, and catching passes like crazy, and being a huge pain in his opponents’ ass every week. It’s inspirational, really. If Welker can tear his knee up like pulled pork on January 3rd, and be back in shape and ready for the “controlled” violence of the NFL before kids go back to college? PFR: Pretty Fahkin’ Remarkable. Makes me think I should be less proud of myself when I clean my pizza crusts and empty beer cans off the sofa after watching a Sox game.
And this is when the Sox WIN.
Honestly, try to tell me there’s a better story in the NFL right now. Tell me there’s someone little kids, Pats fans and manchildren all across New England and beyond should look up to more. He’s the heart and rock ‘n roll soul of this team, which has been through a lot and has a shit-ton of work to do to get to where they want to go. But if Welkah can do what he’s done, and the team follows White Wes’s example, then who’s to say anything’s impossible this season?
That’s the only way I know how to describe this dude Chris DeRoy’s stuff. It’s friggin’ fantastic. I love shit..excuse me...STUFF like this, in this style. But when you do it for TFB, White Wes, Papi & other Boston sports favorites and legends, well, I get a little excited.
You can see this and not get excited or wanna run out and by one HOW?
You might know Chirs as the guy who does the great Toucher & Rich cast picture over at The Sports Hub. Good shit. Check out his stuff on Facebook. He doesn’t have a website yet...so email him and tell him to get the show on the road (kudos to the Boston Sports Then & Now humps for the tip-off here.) It is “wicked awesome Boston sports art” indeed.
Oh, and if you wanna buy Chris can be reached at - (considering he doesn’t seem to have awebsite I’m surprised you don’t have to page him or call an operator to place an order.)
