Fitzy’s Wicked Pissah Pats @ Fins Preview

Yeah, there's some NSFW language in there, but not so much that you'd get fired for blaring it.  Maybe reprimanded, not fired.

Fitzy’s FANalyst Funspot: Week 11

The Flood’s Picks: Week 11

After a no-great-shakes-but-still-makes-money 9-5 performance last week to bring me to 81-58-5 on the season, I’m back with another week of exciting NFL picks.

     New England (-3) over East Rutherford Jets

Get used to me picking the Pats. I always do, but even with one of the worst injury bug infestations in recent memory (starting QB, safety, linebacker and top 9 RBs) the team is continuing to slowly figure out their new identity. That, and Mangini is yet to show he can outwit a motivated Belichick—look for a confused Favre to make a few key mistakes and the Pats to slug out a too-close-for-comfort 3-7 point win.

     Atlanta (-6) over Denver

See my comments from last week re: not betting against Matt Ryan (until Vegas catches up and overvalues him—which it seems on the verge of with a 6 point spread).

Fitzy Live on Toucher and Rich, 104.1 WBCN Thursday Nov 13th from 3-5pm

WBCN becomes WGFY from 3-5pm Thursday Nov 13th.

Hey you animals, I'll be on The Toucher and Rich Show from 3-5pm, on 104.1 FM WBCN in Boston this Thursday Nov 13th (online at wbcn.com if your boss is Bill Lumbergh and doesn't let you listen to the radio at a reasonable volume).  We'll be talking a lotta shit, getting people pumped and prepped and psyched and other "P" words for the Pats/Jets AFC Showdown.  After the broadcast we'll have some light beer throwdown at the CBS Scene at Patriot Place where we're broadcasting from, so come by and say hi.  And before the game I'll be roaming the parking lots like a rain-soaked asshole, stealing beers and burgers, so if you see me then definitely say GFY.

Tune in, rock it out, let's go Pats and FAHK YOU TY LAW!

I hate the goddamn Jets.

Fitzy’s Wicked Pissah Pats/Jets Preview

Warning: definitely some NSFW language in there, pal.

Hey Ty Law, FAHK YOU!

In addition to this ball, Ty Law will be catching some serious shit from Pats fans when his turncoat fuckface shows up to Foxboro this week in a Jets uniform.  Asshole.

So, turns out Ty Law will be playing professional football again real soon.  And might even be on the field Thursday night in Foxoro.  For the goddamn Jets!

"I just feel better about this and the direction this team is going and how they welcomed me," Law was quoted as saying by Schefter. "I wanted to be somewhere I was wanted."  TRANSLATION: Even though the Jets and the Pats have the same record, the Jets have Brett Favre and the Pats don't have Tom Brady.  Also the Jets are healthier than the Pats, AND Coach Mangini and the cocksuckers in the Jets front office were willing to kiss my ass, and Bill Belichick and the Pats weren't.  I'm an asshole who think the Jets have a better chance to win, so now I'm playing for the goddamn Jets.

I can not say this loud enough or more clearly - FAHK YOU, TY LAW!  You had a chance to come back and right the wrong of your soured milk departure from the Pats almost four years ago.  All would have been forgiven, like you just needed some space or a timeout, some personal time.  But instead, by signing with the goddamn Jets, you basically spit in the face of the love and appreciation we had for you and definitely would have shown you again.  All would have been forgiven and forgotten real fahkin' fast if you signed with the Pats, stepped out onto the field at Gillette in your old #24 and helped out a banged up but gung-ho Pats D.  Instead you signed with another "former" team (like that one shitty year counts), the one with the team color that's the same as money (something you make no bones about playing for), in what can only be seen as a true sign of frontrunning.  I know loyalty plays little to no part in professional sports anymore.  I'm not a little kid with a broken sports heart.  But I'm a fan, and I was a huge Ty Law guy for years and years.  Now he's just another one of those great players who turned his back on where he came from and who helped make him.  His pick in Super Bowl 36 is one of my all-time favorite plays.  But now it's just an irrelevant highlight.  Fahk 'em! 

Seriously I'm so mad right now I wish my dick had Apache Chief powers so I could scream "My dick!" and it would grow to 50 times its size so Ty Law can SUCK IT!

Ty Law, bow down before the power of "Fitzy's DICK!"

The 2008 Patriots: Something Awesome, Something Awful

Ain't nobody smiling now that The ManBeast is out for the season.  SONOFABITCH!

OK everyone, say it with me...1, 2, 3...WHAT THE FAHK?!

Seriously, can the Pats win a game this season without losing a starter?  They win, that's awesome!  And also they lose a starter, that's awful.

First it was TFB.  Then it was Arthur Murray Maroney.  Then Human Growth Harrison.  And now word's out that Adalius the ManBeast is done for the year.

How many times this season can the Pats and their fans get kicked in the dick like this?

So if you do the math, which is a lot for me to ask any of you bums to do on a Hangover Monday, that means 66.7% of the Pats wins this year have come with a season-ending injury to a starter.  It's getting ree-fahkin-dickulous, and I'm officially pissed.  Like "someone stole my beer/my taxes got screwed up and now I owe the government money" kinda pissed.  And who can you take it out on, besides (hopefully) the Jets this Thursday?  Cripes, I mean I thought the football gods got their revenge with the badger bite to the ballsack that was the Super Bowl 42 loss.  But this sucks!  Fahk them and fahk this!  Someone make it stop!

We shall continue to punish you New England players and fans for your crimes of SpyGatery until such time as we see fit.  So there, suck on that shit, Pats people!

Fitzy’s Wicked Pissah Pats/Bills Webcast

The Flood’s NFL Picks: Week 10

Greetings townies and townie-wannabes. After a couple weeks mourning the end of a sweet-and-sour Sox season I’m back to the blogosphere with a new weekly gimmick, an NFL picks column that will hopefully fill the dual-purpose of satisfying your unending need for new time-wasting internet nonsense now that the election’s over, and serving as an outlet for my overconfidence after a hot streak the last few weeks in my internet pick ‘em leagues that’s left me 72-53-5 against the spread so far this year (thus relieving the pressure that could lead me to bet actual money on these games just as I start regressing to the mean). So, without further adieu, here are the picks with home teams in bold

Denver (+3) over Cleveland

The worst passing defense in recent memory. A coach nicknamed Cromeo, who actually had to devote time this week to convincing the press that he makes decisions about who’s starting, not the fans. (His other nickname? Lil Romeo.) One starting quarterback has 8 career passing attempts. The other, according to my buddy Lindsay, hails from the lost tribe of Ugly-Baldwins. Who the hell knows. Take the points.  

FANalyst Week 10: Bill Belichick’s Boringspot