Would you want to tell this guy he doesn’t deserve being the richest nose tackle in the game? Yeah, didn’t think so, pal (photo courtesy of, or just flat-out taken from, The Boston Globe).
Glad we got Big Vince locked up. Super curious what kinda WR/OLB/CB/GFY help the Pats get between now and Das Draft. I’ll tell you one thing - it ain’t gonna be easy to sign Leigh Bodden, who the Pats need like Tiger Woods a prison anklet around his junk, now that Atlanta signed Dunta Robinson to a 6-year, $11 billion deal (OK, it was for $57 mill, which is about $45 mill too much for that guy). Bodden just started seeing Brewster’s Millions pop up in front of his eyes. And he should too.
I need a beer. No reason required. What should I crack into?
The Patriots made Mr. Peppers an offer but apparently it was one he could refuse. Which is too fahkin’ bad.
Well, don’t worry folks, because the Pats pass rush is gonna be a monster this fall, because we signed...Tully Banta-Cain! To an extension. Worth way more than anyone would have ever imagined the guy with Jabba the Hutt’s favorite last name would get. So yeah - no Peppers, but plenty of Banta-Cain. Wow...I can barely contain my excitement. Everybody on 3. 1...2...3!
Really? With all the needs the Pats have this is the big splash out of the gate? And we’re losing Watson (whatevs), though we have Joe Bagodick and Freddy Nutwhistle as the only 2 tight ends on the roster right now. And Leigh Bodden is gonna dip his toes in the free agent water, so in the uncapped year you can be sure someone’s gonna throw an assload of money his way. Not panicking, but we kinda do need a lil’ help on the receiver, cornerback and pass rush fronts.
Banta-Cain for $4.5 million a season? Wow, the cartoon dollar signs in Vince Wilfork’s eyes should have just doubled in size.
People have been asking about Brandon Marshall and the possibility that the Pats might want to trade for him and what do I think and all that initial free agency mania. So I thought I’d repost this video I made with Team GFY back when we made videos for ESPN Mobile in the Fall of 2007. Marshall is a hellified WR, and a shit ton of fun. But also stone cold BONKAHZ! (yes, like the candy from the 80’s)
Welcome back, David. You still must have something in the tank, and lord knows you have the championship mentality for the locker room (and could be a good mentor on being tiny and effective to Edelstein while Welker is out), so let’s hop in the way back machine and fahkin’ do this!
Please tell me a still spry and able Deion Branch isn’t far behind you.
Whether you or your dad or your dad’s dad were around to see him play you loved Mosi Tatupu for a million and one reasons - his name, his grit, his versatility, the mustache, his toughness, his name - through thick and thin, good and bad, Super and shitty, you could always love you some Mosi Tatupu. When you froze your ass off at Sullivan/Schaeffer/Foxboro Stadium you could always count on Mosi to give it the proverbial 110%. Especially when you didn’t know the name off half the bums out there without a Grogan or Hannah or Morgan on their back. He was so awesome his name was even a joke on “The Simpsons”. “Everybody Loves Tatupu” was the sitcom that never was but shoulda been made. I’d have loved to have bought a beer for him and Jimmy Snuka, my two favorite Polynesian athletes ever. RIP, Mosi.
I think we should all grow Mosi Tatupu mustaches in his honor. Who’s with me?
The Patriots and Vince Wilfork are still dating. They’re just in a bit of a “franchise” period right now. But he has been tagged. So you ain’t getting something for nothing, OK?
Who has two thumbs, didn’t want to get franchise tagged, but did, and still hopes to get a big fat long-term deal?
It’s a good day for Pats fans, ‘cuz big Vince ain’t going nowhere. The team catering crew at Foxboro just doubled their order for everything this fall as well.
I’m breathing a small sigh of relief today. He’s the man you build your defense around. LITERALLY. This gives the Pats time to work out the needed bigass extension. THEN we add some Julius Peppers to the mix. THEN we lock up TFB. THEN we have a kickass draft. THEN we kick everybody’s ass. Got it? Write that down, OK?
Also - and I know we have one crazy as balls receiver already, which is probably enough, but knowing that Mossman might be literally, or at least figuratively, going off the reservation, does anyone out there think it’s too bananabrained to sign T.O.? I say full-steam-ahead FAHK IT and you sign him for a year. Just come out with all villainous guns blazing in the uncapped year, dickpunch ‘em all and get that 4th ring. To hell with what other people think of of them/us/you/everyone. GO FOR IT!
I would love to say about TFB, “That’s my teammate. That’s my quarterback.” Without all the pussytears.
Whaddya think? Have I totally lose my fahkin’ mind?
You try and make a simple Super Bowl 44 prediction video, albeit a very biased and anti-Colts one, and guess who shows up? Man, this jackass really is everywhere!
...I think Rex Ryan is pretty effin’ funny. Now before you lose your shit or wonder what I’m smoking or who’s brainwashed me or what watermelon pod was discovered by my bedside last night, just allow for this; if you think of sports in entertainment terms then Rex Ryan is perhaps the best vintage villainous WWF wrestling manager working today. He’s gotten our blood boiling from Day 1, making sure the Pats/Jets rivalry continues to escalate. And he wasted no time in starting shit with the Dolphins, making him THE bad guy of the division. Then, following the Jets playoff run, he has the stones to taunt the Dolphins fans at an MMA event IN MIAMI last Saturday night. He might be a flaming a-hole with an aversion to salad, but his cache of entertaining villainy is expanding as quickly as his waistline. And it kinda cracks me up. Check this interview out...
Funny shit. I still hate his team, but this guy might be alright for the entertainment of the game.
That said, again, I can’t say enough how the Pats need to sign Wilfork. He’s one of ur most important, and entertaining, and buffet-busting figures as well. What do I have to do, make a video about this shit? OK, fine!
