Dear Viewers, Fans, Friends, Enemies, Assclowns and Other Sportsfans,
These days it’s all about transparency in America, right? After Season 1 of “Pocket Money” you watched and then you made your peace. You spoke your words. You shared your opinions. And that’s why NESN brought me, the only guy who can look like more of a boob than the contestants who whiff on the first question, back, and with more money (but don’t worry, the Nitwit Factor is set to 11 this season.) And we’re back JUST in time for the Red Sox to pretty much be out of it. HOORAY!
So make sure to tune in this Friday, September 3rd for the Season 2 premiere of “Pocket Money” on NESN. We’re on Fridays @ 5pm, part of the NESN “Made in New England” block of programming (sandwiched between “Shining City” and “After The Game”, John Henry’s wife’s “Cribs” of New England sportspeoples), and then again after the Sox game and NESN Daily...somewhere around midnight. What’s the deal with air times in Rocktober? You got me. In the meanwhile, here’s a show open from Season 1 that I think worked out pretty well, one that we got naturally with no “TV tinkering”, believe it or not.
And I know some of you freaks out there who check in on the Townie from time to time are not necessarily Boston/New England sports fans, but can rally behind our cause of being ballbusters and dicks to our mutual sorts enemies. And occasionally you like to pick up a little non-league sanctioned merch to express yourself. One spot I’d like to recommend is PhillyPhaithful.com. You don’t have to be from Philthy to appreciate the merch and sportswear they make (they made that awesome Plaxico shirt I blogged about a while back). Here’s a new fave of mine, which I definitely believe I’ll be sportin’ on Celtics off-nights in the coming 2010-11 season.
Following the nice lil’ shitstorm we whipped up with our Hard Cocks: Episode 1 review, here’s a well-overdue double-episode reviewtacular. Enjoy. Let’s go Pats. And GFY.
And remember folks, this is all, much like the idea of the Jets going to the Super Bowl, a joke.
Boston sports fans and drunks of the world unite, for it is THE GFY KOOZIE (in glorious Pats colors and font, no less). Available now in the Townie News merch section. $2 a pop, plus $1 S/H. Here’s the bonus - for every 5 you buy you get 1 free. So buy 5 (pay $15), we’ll send 6. Buy 10, we’ll send 12. Plus a GFY sticker. You’re a smart drunk. You get it.
GFY to go. How could it get any better than this (aside from standing outside SB 45, waiting to go in and watch the Pats shoot for ring #4, GFY koozie in hand)?
Each week I’ll be twittering my way through the latest episode of “Hard Knocks with the New York Jets” (@fitzygfy), then providing a detailed, “totally unbiased” review of the episode. Because really, who better to provide commentary and fair-minded insight on the bold, brash and blustery Jets than a mouthy half-drunk New England patriots supahfan, right?
This site earns GFY certification. Solid football parody of this site and this other site (for those not in the know, or who haven’t been on the internet in 5 years.) IMFO it’s high-quality lowbrow fare for the huddled Massholes. Like what I did there?
Also, nice win, HUGE fahkin’ win, for the Sox on Monday, salvaging the split with the Skanks. Whiffing Grandyman, Swisher Sweets & Gayxiera in the 9th was a cause for serious Papelbonerage.
Enjoy your “Larry Legend” year, buddy. May it bring you, and all New England Patriots kind, the ring, trophy and celebration worthy of such a glorious year.
At the end of the day nobody does it better (I won’t apologize, I get sappy about this shit.)
Dear Rest of NFL, Get ready to see a shitload of this again this season, and beyond. And at full fahkin’ force. That is all.
You already know this by now, and if you don’t then you’re either on vacation, in a cave, or an asshole. But White Wes is BACK. And sure, he could technically still go back on the PUP for the start of the season and be out for the 1st 6 games, but the odds of that happening are the same as LeBron hosting a “Hey Cleveland, My Bad” fundraiser at Dan Gilbert’s house this fall. He’s worked his dick off to get to where he is and if he’s come this far, this fast, then you know for sure that he won’t stop until he’s ready, and on the field, and catching passes like crazy, and being a huge pain in his opponents’ ass every week. It’s inspirational, really. If Welker can tear his knee up like pulled pork on January 3rd, and be back in shape and ready for the “controlled” violence of the NFL before kids go back to college? PFR: Pretty Fahkin’ Remarkable. Makes me think I should be less proud of myself when I clean my pizza crusts and empty beer cans off the sofa after watching a Sox game.
And this is when the Sox WIN.
Honestly, try to tell me there’s a better story in the NFL right now. Tell me there’s someone little kids, Pats fans and manchildren all across New England and beyond should look up to more. He’s the heart and rock ‘n roll soul of this team, which has been through a lot and has a shit-ton of work to do to get to where they want to go. But if Welkah can do what he’s done, and the team follows White Wes’s example, then who’s to say anything’s impossible this season?
That’s the only way I know how to describe this dude Chris DeRoy’s stuff. It’s friggin’ fantastic. I love shit..excuse me...STUFF like this, in this style. But when you do it for TFB, White Wes, Papi & other Boston sports favorites and legends, well, I get a little excited.
You can see this and not get excited or wanna run out and by one HOW?
You might know Chirs as the guy who does the great Toucher & Rich cast picture over at The Sports Hub. Good shit. Check out his stuff on Facebook. He doesn’t have a website yet...so email him and tell him to get the show on the road (kudos to the Boston Sports Then & Now humps for the tip-off here.) It is “wicked awesome Boston sports art” indeed.
Oh, and if you wanna buy Chris can be reached at - (considering he doesn’t seem to have awebsite I’m surprised you don’t have to page him or call an operator to place an order.)
That hot waft of awesome that came by your nose this morning? Kinda smelled like the first scent off a freshly-lit bbq grill, with just some light hints of pigskin and beer? Yup, that was the start of Patriots Training Camp 2010. That means meaningful football’s not too far off, and shitty pretend football (which I’ll still take) is very close. Of course when we start getting excited about football in July and wishing it was Kickoff Weekend already, we’re wishing away the 2nd half off the summer. But I’ve already sweat my balls off enough this summer. Trading part of summer for football season is a good deal any which way you look at it.
So, there are about 9.5 million questions, concerns, stories and AFI’s (areas of fahkin’ interest) about this team. Welker, Mankins, TFB’s contract, the rookies galore, this possibly being Mossman’s Patriots swansong? We can get into those later, or never, or whenever. That shit will work itself out. A story I found pretty friggin’ interesting on Day 1 was that Derrick Burgess did not show up because he’s considering retirement.“Oh no! Please don’t retire, Derrick. hat would we do without you and your 1 sack coming off the edge?” Those are not likely to be words heard from the Pats and/or any or many Pats fans. When a guy’s considering retirement, and it’s not someone coming off a boss season, then usually that means they know something’s up, or that the tank is empty, and it’s time to call it quits. It’s not like our version of Julius Peppers is just shocking everybody with this decision out of the Patriot blue. Burgess got old, FAST. Football’s a battle and a grind, and if he ain’t feeling it then for cripes’ sake, Patriots, please don’t talk a man who had little to no impact last season, out of retirement. Therefore, I’d like all of us to say hello and warmly embrace the most likely candidate for the OLB job (until Jermaine Cunningham takes his or Tully Banta Fodder’s job): Rob Ninkovich.
Pats OLB Rob Ninkovich gives a Bill Clinton-esque thumb up to the idea of getting to start for the Pats this season.
He gets my vote for “Most Likely To Imitate And Replace, But Only In The Literal But Not Metaphorical Or Awesomeness-Sense, Mike Vrabel” Award for 2010. Look at him. Glimpse quick enough and it looks like friggin’ ol’ Ready Willing and Vrabel himself. They even got him wearing Vrabel’s #! Shit, think Belichick misses vintage Vrabel and the versatility, stability and toughness that badass with a mustache brought? Hey, who knows - the Pats got Ninkovich for a nickel & dime. Maybe he can surprise people outta nowhere, kinda like a relatively then unheard Mike Vrabel did back in 2001? Ya’ never know. But don’t say I didn’t call it. Unless Ninkovich sucks pink footballs. Then don’t remind me.
...click here to see Blake Lively’s chestbombs popping out at Comic Con last weekend (these are the very same ladypillows that I suggested the Red Sox trade for as “motivation” for the stretch run)...
...and while we’re on the subject of Comic Con here’s a picture that reminds geeks, nerds, fanboys and Fitzys alike that even in your darkest hour, or after the most ball-breaking of losses for your favorite team, there will always be a reason to live...
