Dear Rest of NFL, Get ready to see a shitload of this again this season, and beyond. And at full fahkin’ force. That is all.
You already know this by now, and if you don’t then you’re either on vacation, in a cave, or an asshole. But White Wes is BACK. And sure, he could technically still go back on the PUP for the start of the season and be out for the 1st 6 games, but the odds of that happening are the same as LeBron hosting a “Hey Cleveland, My Bad” fundraiser at Dan Gilbert’s house this fall. He’s worked his dick off to get to where he is and if he’s come this far, this fast, then you know for sure that he won’t stop until he’s ready, and on the field, and catching passes like crazy, and being a huge pain in his opponents’ ass every week. It’s inspirational, really. If Welker can tear his knee up like pulled pork on January 3rd, and be back in shape and ready for the “controlled” violence of the NFL before kids go back to college? PFR: Pretty Fahkin’ Remarkable. Makes me think I should be less proud of myself when I clean my pizza crusts and empty beer cans off the sofa after watching a Sox game.
And this is when the Sox WIN.
Honestly, try to tell me there’s a better story in the NFL right now. Tell me there’s someone little kids, Pats fans and manchildren all across New England and beyond should look up to more. He’s the heart and rock ‘n roll soul of this team, which has been through a lot and has a shit-ton of work to do to get to where they want to go. But if Welkah can do what he’s done, and the team follows White Wes’s example, then who’s to say anything’s impossible this season?
That’s the only way I know how to describe this dude Chris DeRoy’s stuff. It’s friggin’ fantastic. I love shit..excuse me...STUFF like this, in this style. But when you do it for TFB, White Wes, Papi & other Boston sports favorites and legends, well, I get a little excited.
You can see this and not get excited or wanna run out and by one HOW?
You might know Chirs as the guy who does the great Toucher & Rich cast picture over at The Sports Hub. Good shit. Check out his stuff on Facebook. He doesn’t have a website yet...so email him and tell him to get the show on the road (kudos to the Boston Sports Then & Now humps for the tip-off here.) It is “wicked awesome Boston sports art” indeed.
Oh, and if you wanna buy Chris can be reached at - (considering he doesn’t seem to have awebsite I’m surprised you don’t have to page him or call an operator to place an order.)
That hot waft of awesome that came by your nose this morning? Kinda smelled like the first scent off a freshly-lit bbq grill, with just some light hints of pigskin and beer? Yup, that was the start of Patriots Training Camp 2010. That means meaningful football’s not too far off, and shitty pretend football (which I’ll still take) is very close. Of course when we start getting excited about football in July and wishing it was Kickoff Weekend already, we’re wishing away the 2nd half off the summer. But I’ve already sweat my balls off enough this summer. Trading part of summer for football season is a good deal any which way you look at it.
So, there are about 9.5 million questions, concerns, stories and AFI’s (areas of fahkin’ interest) about this team. Welker, Mankins, TFB’s contract, the rookies galore, this possibly being Mossman’s Patriots swansong? We can get into those later, or never, or whenever. That shit will work itself out. A story I found pretty friggin’ interesting on Day 1 was that Derrick Burgess did not show up because he’s considering retirement.“Oh no! Please don’t retire, Derrick. hat would we do without you and your 1 sack coming off the edge?” Those are not likely to be words heard from the Pats and/or any or many Pats fans. When a guy’s considering retirement, and it’s not someone coming off a boss season, then usually that means they know something’s up, or that the tank is empty, and it’s time to call it quits. It’s not like our version of Julius Peppers is just shocking everybody with this decision out of the Patriot blue. Burgess got old, FAST. Football’s a battle and a grind, and if he ain’t feeling it then for cripes’ sake, Patriots, please don’t talk a man who had little to no impact last season, out of retirement. Therefore, I’d like all of us to say hello and warmly embrace the most likely candidate for the OLB job (until Jermaine Cunningham takes his or Tully Banta Fodder’s job): Rob Ninkovich.
Pats OLB Rob Ninkovich gives a Bill Clinton-esque thumb up to the idea of getting to start for the Pats this season.
He gets my vote for “Most Likely To Imitate And Replace, But Only In The Literal But Not Metaphorical Or Awesomeness-Sense, Mike Vrabel” Award for 2010. Look at him. Glimpse quick enough and it looks like friggin’ ol’ Ready Willing and Vrabel himself. They even got him wearing Vrabel’s #! Shit, think Belichick misses vintage Vrabel and the versatility, stability and toughness that badass with a mustache brought? Hey, who knows - the Pats got Ninkovich for a nickel & dime. Maybe he can surprise people outta nowhere, kinda like a relatively then unheard Mike Vrabel did back in 2001? Ya’ never know. But don’t say I didn’t call it. Unless Ninkovich sucks pink footballs. Then don’t remind me.
...click here to see Blake Lively’s chestbombs popping out at Comic Con last weekend (these are the very same ladypillows that I suggested the Red Sox trade for as “motivation” for the stretch run)...
...and while we’re on the subject of Comic Con here’s a picture that reminds geeks, nerds, fanboys and Fitzys alike that even in your darkest hour, or after the most ball-breaking of losses for your favorite team, there will always be a reason to live...
In honor of my hero and yours, Wes Welkah, coming all the way back from AC-Hell surgery, promising to be ready for the season, giving TFB his favorite target, and us supahfans our favorite little engine that could and does, we’re having a WHITE WES WELKER t-shirt clearance sale. Now, for the low-low (and honorary) price of only $8.30, you can own your own White Wes Welker shirt.
Besides championing Welkah’s efforts to get back on the field faster than any of us could recover from a scraped knee, let alone a destroyed one, we’re having a sale to clear some merch...BECAUSE WE RE-DESIGNED THE WES WELKER SHIRT AND IT’S READY AND AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE, PATSPEOPLE!
That’s right, it’s the brand new “Wes Welker: White Receiver”. Available for purchase for our still-low-as-grandpa’s-balls price of $12 (plus $3 shipping & manhandling). Everyone’s gonna want one and be wearing one come Opening Day against possibly T.O. and the Bengals. You don’t wanna be left out, do you? You were made fun of enough already in this life. Stick with the cool kids. Get with the program! Pony up the $15 and buy this kickass shirt already!
For just one season. One pre-lockout shot at the title. A One-And-Done-Run-And-Gun shot.
He’s an asshole. He’s a fahkin’ drama queen. He’s moody. He’s paranoid. He’s more emotional volatile than Joan Crawford. He’s a crybaby. Nobody likes him. And there’s a reason why he’s unsigned to this point...and yet, I’m not against it. Call me “the asshole” (won’t be the first time), but if everyone else is pulling out all the stops then what the fahk? The Jets are playing prison yard rules. Miami’s going for it. I say, before we lose football, Mossman or (gawd forbid) TFB, let’s go for it. The part of our soul we’d sell to have this freak lined up opposite Mossman every g-damn Sunday is like the brain cells we kill when we drink; useless! I could live with this.
...but he gave great villain. He helped make the Sox/Yanks rivalry what it is today as much if not more than any other figure. Oh, he was a legend, alright. And it was a drunken pleasure to root against him for all my living years.
Everyone’s favorite undersized second baseman is back with a Red Sox report that’s oversized with attitude. Mildly NSFW, for those of you who work at places that suck.
