Yes, yours truly will be performing behind enemy lines Monday June 29th, 8pm @ Comix in NYC at 12 Angry Mascots, a very funny monthly sports comedy variety talk show kinda shit (I dunno - there aren’t many of the kind at all, and this one’s funny) so get your ass to Mars and let’s do this! I’ll be doing a set, busting baseballs with the hosts and hangin’ ‘em high and lettin’ ‘em fly with the NY sports crowd. Last month I got to give Daivd Diehl a piece of my mind...and was lucky I didn’t get my footballs handed to me for it. This month’s special guest will be Ryan Grant. Please join me in asking him why he felt the need to destroy our fantasy football teams last fall.
Here’s the listings info for the show. I know I’m not listed, but trust me - my presence will be felt (check out their website - they gave me the love there, and you can see some hot ass pixx of Jenn Sterger, who will also be in the comedy hizzouse). Or maybe I’ll throw up on a Jets fan. Whatever works!
Tix are but a wee $5 if you order in advance and use the PROMO code GRANT. If you come by make sure to say hi, GFY. Beer might (DEFINITELY) will flow freely afterwards.
Rest in Peace, pitchman extraordinaire. You were a gem...who rocked a dyed-black beard and loud-shouted his words like no other. We wish you well...and will never OxiClean or Mighty Putty without thinking of you again.
Here’s a great Billy Mays video of him hitting the drive-thru one day.
And without Billy Mays’ brilliant in-your-face salesmanshippery we would never know about these products...not have these brilliant parodies.
The King’s Mayojizz always makes the warm beef taste better.
Kudos to Barstool Sports (who pretty much are killing it on a daily basis now) for this grab - by far the best print ad I’ve ever seen. This MORE than makes up for the Toasty Torpedo super ‘mo Quizno’s ads.
Hey - nothing against anybody, but this ad couldn’t have been more homoerotic if the over said, “I want you to sandwich fuck me.” Jeesh.
BTW - you might be wondering what’s with the spotty posting here of late? Well we’re going to be undergoing another redesign soon, and have had some web issues, so it’s been much easier to post items and put the usual nonsense that goes up here over on FACEBOOK. If you are a friend already then you know what’s up - if you aren’t yet then there’s tons of shit to see every day at facebook.com/FitzyGFY (why not check me out at twitter.com/FitzyGFY while you’re at it?) - If you “don’t do the Facebook” then I wish you and the year 1997 well. The new design of the site, a simpler format for us simpler minded folk, will be up soon. Keep checking here - check the Facebook - send a friggin’ sweet tweet - NESN show premieres in less than 2 months. Fuck and Yeah.
1.) Dice-K: Really on a Nori roll this season, pal. Hope the WBC: World Butthole Classic was worth it because the ghost of Tomo Ohka called and said on his worst days he could pitch better than you so far this season. That movie “Year One” wasn’t as bad as your 2009 effort to date. The people of Iran are threatening revolution if they have to sit through one more of your shitty starts. Enough is enough - get it together or get out of Smoltzy and Buccholz’s way!
Whoa whoa! Even I might not start me anytime soon ‘cuz I am sucking from Tokyo to Truro right now.
2.) I stopped by the Karlson and McKenzie show on June 16th to talk some shop, Sox and such. Then we did this 10 Questions thing. It was pretty fun. They’re a good bunch of humps. Click HERE to watch the vid, kids.
Yes, I asked her to prom. No, I haven’t gotten a response yet.
5.) + 6.) These two videos from “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”. Because I’m not sure there’s anything funnier than making fun of Twitter (useful as it may be), and there might not be a funnier bit on TV right now.
7.) This is undoubtedly the coolest Boston sports picture/drawing/cartoon/image/whatever going around now. It’s from the guys at The Boston Sports Company, who make great stuff, shirts and the like. You can click HERE to download the pic (makes a sweetass screensaver or desktop), or buy the print. I have one. The sports manchild is proud.
8.) Looking for a kickass Father’s Day gift? Look no further than TAILGATE TOSS. Like Dad would like anything more than an awesome game he can play when knocking them back at a Pats tailgate, in the backyard, when playing hooky from work and/or his chores, your mom...
Your dad LOVES to put the bag in the hole, right?
9.) Hey Paps - love you and all, definitely letting the fact that you’re putting WAY too many guys on base this season slide. But while you’re wearing the Red Sox let’s just go ahead and shaddup about Skanks play and and the like, alright?
10.) We’re done shooting “Pocket Money”. Now the editing game. And the wait for the August 24th premiere on NESN. Good times, can’t wait.
Hey, opinions are like a-holes; everyone’s got one, right? Well, here are some opinions from an a-hole who loves his team. In colorful NSFW terms, of course.
Special thanks to the members of 12 Angry Mascots in NYC for having me...the Coors Lights that supplied me with liquid bravery...and NY Giants left tackle David Diehl for being a god sport and not kicking my ass. He’s a good dude. I still say he held Adalius Thomas, but we’re looking forward, peoples. Looking forward.
Could be a new land record for # of F bombs dropped in a mostly improvised standup set/interview. Yeah, well nerves and being within two feet of someone who plays for the team that helped shatter all your dreams will do that to a manchild.
Last Saturday night - June 6, 2009 - definitely going down as one of my favorites to date.
And to think - I got to go to the game and watch Jaw-nee Les-tah deal that complete game gem? That was the definition of fahkin’ sweet!
Anyway - we got us some Sox vs Skanks this week. The rivalry’s renewed! Game back on! More sports and pop-culture cliches for the bluster and hype that comes before a Sox/Skanks series! I’m pumped - might even get to go to a game if the weather gods don’t ruin the fun. We’ll see. One thing I know we will see is a much better Skanks team, one that’s 20-8 since StrayRoid came back to the lineup. They’re mashing. They’re pitching better. They’re playing clutch when it counts. They’re firing on a lot of cylinders. And they’re still the team I hate most on Earth and can’t wait for the Sox to beat. Lord willing - OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
And then there’s the mater of A-Roid’s first at-bat back at the Fens since, well, um...
I’m smiling on the outside, but I’ll be crying on the inside after the Fenway Boobirds have their way with me this week. Why they make me so sad? They so mean to me! What I ever do to them?
New Sox webcast should be up Wednesday, and it’s a gem. Until then, and forever and a day after that...
